Here are the facts about female masturbation, along with our conclusions about them.
1. Fact: 89% of women admit to masturbating. Our Conclusion: The other 11% will only admit to heavy petting.
2. Fact: More than 41% of people have accidentally been caught masturbating. 22.6% of women have intentionally been walked in on. Our Conclusion: Intentionally? Oh, I get it -- they're the martyr-y ones who constantly balk, "If I want something done, I have to do it myself!"
3. Fact: 4 out of 10 women prefer masturbation over sex. Our Conclusion: Does this coincide with the finding that 40% of men want their women to have liposuction? Well, screw you, @ssholes. Who needs you anyway?
4. Fact: Studies suggest masturbation may be good for you. Cervical infections might be reduced with frequent personal stimulation. Our Conclusion: As if we needed another reason.
5. Fact: Female porcupines have been witnessed using wooden sticks to masturbate. Our Conclusion: What did you expect? Porcupine dildos are pretty hard to come by.
